No Turkey Thanksgiving

This week we celebrated Thanksgiving Day, and I am so stuffed from it, I can hardly think of anything clever to write for the length of this post. But, I will say that me, Husband, and Matlock did not get the chance to go home for old Turkey Day, and so Top Chef Shorter cooked us a magnificent feast.

We decided to one up President Obama and pardon all turkeys and instead Husband used his advanced culinary skills to cook us up some delicious filet mignon, crab cakes, brushetta (that was actually me), four cheese mashed potatoes, and sautéed mushrooms (me again). Salivate at the picture below:

Yes, Ma, I used the fabric you bought me at IKEA as a tablecloth- I told you I would never make it into a picture if we didn't do it the weekend you came to visit.

Below is my ultimate contribution to the dinner- Coke and Ice Cream Floats! Yummm....

So, it isn't the most exciting or funniest post I have ever done, but just to give you something to laugh about (or make fun of me for later), you can watch the video below of me obsessing over my puppy once again. Enjoy, and Happy Turkey Day!

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Turning Vampire Under a New Moon

Tweens, teens, (this 20-something year old), middle-age, and menopausal women everywhere are beaming with anticipation as the newest movie in the Twilight series, New Moon, is finally in theaters!

Well, while others are throwing on their capes and waiting until it is dark to go outside, I've been... doing the same. It seems this past Wednesday I too turned to the dark side as a cut on my lip starting bleeding and my co-workers Josh and Kara caught it on camera- insisting I was a New Moon vampire (which we had just been recently discussing... weird! But, really, who hasn't just recently discussed the New Moon movie? Love it or hate it, you've heard of it.)

Husband wont stop telling me how gross it is, more so because I put the picture on the web for all to see. It has been looking awful forever (I have a tendency to bite and pick at it, making it worse), and I stink at doing makeup, so it will stay that way until I can learn to control my horrible habits.

My funny hand movement was my attempt to be half vampire half werewolf but my crappy claw turned into more of a wimpy wave. Also pictured is co-worker Car-Uh, she's just a human.

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Dolls With Balls

You may not believe me (Rebecca Kaelin/Pannell), but I am on a bowling team. Yes, a real-life bowling team where I compete against other teams.

Rebecca probably does not believe this, seeing as she was Capitan of the bowling team in high school and averages a 420 game (I know, that isn’t possible- but if it was, Rebecca would have it because she is ridiculously good). Despite her persistent attempts to make me a better bowler, it never really stuck. But now, I am on a bowling team- and guess what Rebecca? I am still just as bad as you remember me.

Yes, I have a whopping average of a 96.652 or something else ridiculously low. And the worst part is, I am ranked fifth from last in bowling averages. Meaning, most subs beat me out too. I am not too concerned with this though- because my team miraculously still came in fourth place in a ten team league (thank you high handicaps!). <--- People will dispute our actual ranking, but the official results have not come out yet and that was where we were last ranked.

My team’s name is “Dolls with Balls”. It is cleverly named so because the team is made up of three women (the dolls) and one man (you get it now, right?). I haven’t been able to get a picture of the whole team, but here is one of the dolls (and a sub doll for our balls).

From left to right: Megan Heltzel (Stonewall Doll) Kara Schlifke (Montreal Doll), Me (the Doll with it All), Nicole McMahon (Small Doll).

I just made up those nicknames- just to spice it up a little. You like how I gave myself the best nickname? "You would," says Heltzel (or she will say that once she reads this).

So maybe I am not the "Doll with it All," but I am a Doll with Balls. Misconstrue that however you may, but I've got team spirit, yes I do, I've got spirit, how 'bout you?

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Loosing Wait Is A Sweat Jester

Seeing as editing is a large part of my job description, some people (cough cough, Husband) like to suggest that this "editing" skill should carry over to my blog. To them (him), I would like to say - I aint on da clock, Huz, sew leaf me a loan peas.

But my sickly Friday has given me the unique opportunity to read over many of my old blog postings, which, if I do say so myself, are quite delightful. Unfortunately, there are many mistakes I didn't catch. Below are two of my more humorous (and embarassing) oversights:

In my February 2009 post, titled "Puppy Love," I refered to Husband making a "sweat jester" when I meant to say "sweet gesture."

In my November 2008 post, titled "The People Have Spoken," I say "loosing wait" where I meant to say "losing weight."

There are many, many more. And you will notice a number of punctuation mistakes in all my blog postings (this one not excluded). I love reading over them today and finding all the funnies I glossed over in the anticipation of being able to press the "Publish Post" button. While they are hilarious to me, the editor in me still has to fight back the urge to change them online. Even though my editing skills have significantly improved since I first started this blog (I edited this sentence more than two times), I don't blog to hone my editing skills. Rather, to me, blogging is more about developing and showcasing my writing voice (and goofing off without having to worry about all the technical aspects of writing).

It just goes to show (and I have always said this), you can't edit your own work like you can another's work. You read it the way you thought it, not the way you actually wrote it. And as long as the people reading my blog know, or at least have faith, that I am not a complete idiot- than I am okay with my many missteaks. <--- That one was on the house.

Please Note: Yes, I am aware there are many mistakes in this post too. Yes, I know I shouldn't be using parentheses in every sentence. No, I did not check this post for grammatical and spelling errors either (well, not yet at least).

So now that all that has been cleared up- I want to give a very stern message to all my friends (if you are my friend on facebook than I mean you) who have a blog and haven't told me about it- I crave reading blogs about people I actually know- shame on you for keeping it a secret! Fess up now, or I will "follow" you. I'm not scared to let you know I read your blog- after all, what is the point of having a blog if you don't want others to read it?? You may redeem yourself by commenting below.

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