I have been told I'm a good schmoozer. At least once a week someone tells me about a job that would be really good for me, always in sales.
I don't like being told I'm a good schmoozer, or about sales jobs. I get a little sad when someone tells me I'm really good a schmoozing people (P.S. when you write the word, it has to be in italics). Schmoozing to me implies that I am somehow talking someone into something they didn't want to do, or even worse, sucking up in hopes that it will reflect well or benefit me in the future. To me, even though I know they don't mean it as such, it is insulting.
I genuinely like meeting new people. I like talking to them, I like learning a little bit about their story, and I like making other people happy- and the best tip out there for people wanting to become better conversationalists- stop talking. When someone compliments? me on my schmoozing skills, it is typically in reference to when I have spent a large amount of time conversing with one person, after which, they tell someone else about how much they enjoyed talking to me. The conversations I have with these individuals are not ground-breaking, I'm not saying anything particularly interesting or insightful, I am simply doing a lot of listening. When I'm not listening, I'm typically asking questions. That's it. They talk, I listen, I ask questions on a subject I know they are passionate about, so on. I like this because, like most people, I spend a lot of time thinking about myself, how X affects me, how I would have handled a situation, and so on. The times when I force myself to hold back, to not add in that "Me too! But..." to the end of the conversation, those are the times when I learn the most about other people, and, myself.
I genuinely like meeting new people. I like talking to them, I like learning a little bit about their story, and I like making other people happy- and the best tip out there for people wanting to become better conversationalists- stop talking. When someone compliments? me on my schmoozing skills, it is typically in reference to when I have spent a large amount of time conversing with one person, after which, they tell someone else about how much they enjoyed talking to me. The conversations I have with these individuals are not ground-breaking, I'm not saying anything particularly interesting or insightful, I am simply doing a lot of listening. When I'm not listening, I'm typically asking questions. That's it. They talk, I listen, I ask questions on a subject I know they are passionate about, so on. I like this because, like most people, I spend a lot of time thinking about myself, how X affects me, how I would have handled a situation, and so on. The times when I force myself to hold back, to not add in that "Me too! But..." to the end of the conversation, those are the times when I learn the most about other people, and, myself.
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